‘Seeds of A New Way’ Book Excerpt: ‘Come, Come, Whoever You Are!’

“Welcome! And oh, that color looks lovely on you,” trilled a friendly voice. “Especially with your skin tone and dark hair! Does that shade of yellow have cultural significance? It’s so beautiful! I remember seeing a lot of that when I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Bangladesh! Is today a holiday in your country, dear?”

I had just walked tentatively into my first ever meeting of religious education teachers, a harried working mother in old blue jeans and a faded yellow sweater from the graduate school days. I wasn’t sure I had anything to offer. Up to that point, I had not felt “qualified” to participate in any Unitarian Universalist group.

But this meeting was different. The teaching team of three cisgender white men and two cisgender white women was excited to have me. So warm. So welcoming. The presumed holiday in my “country”—presumed only because of the bright color I might have been wearing—didn’t come up as a conversation piece. The group was not dangling its collective UU credentials in front of me. And that was enough. It was more than enough. Looking around the room, I was grateful to be welcomed.

As I settled in, the atmosphere in the room began to feel less like a meeting of volunteers and more like a celebration. I was being feted. I was being celebrated. Everyone wanted to be my friend. Or perhaps, everyone wanted to have me as their friend. Perhaps they were overcompensating because I unnerved them. Perhaps I was their long-lost nostalgic connection to South Asia. You know, from when they were in the Peace Corps in the 1970s?

Perhaps I was the only UU person of Indian descent they would ever meet. Either way, my skim-latte-with-one-shot-of-decaf-espresso-colored complexion and my straight dark hair were an exceptional addition to this group. No one appeared to care about my eagerness to serve my community, my skills as a bridge-builder, my enthusiasm for working with middle school children, my facility for languages, my understanding of other faith traditions, or my ability to teach.

I am an Indian American cisgender woman who immigrated to the United States as a young adult. I was “born Hindu” and was raised in an inclusive environment that embraced all faith and linguistic traditions. I am a first-generation immigrant to the United States, I can speak Mid-Atlantic accented English, I am well educated, I am brown skinned. There is no space for me in the preconceived box I am expected to fit into.

I am learning that blending in—sharing some characteristics or qualities with the dominant culture and leading with those qualities—and being accepted in one’s full authenticity might just be mutually exclusive. I am present to the vital conversations going on in our movement and in our congregations around multiculturalism and racial diversity. But in practice, we handful of people of color—we “brown specks”—are still exoticized. Excited acceptance and exuberant acknowledgement leave no room for us to blend in and be regular congregation members.

As a covenanted denomination, we UUs affirm the value of relationship, community, and interdependence. Yet often we are unable to live up to our covenant, impacting our most vulnerable, our historically marginalized, and our people of color. Exoticism becomes a major problem because it suggests that one’s personhood or culture only exists for the gratification of others. As people of color and as marginalized communities, we are unable to establish an authentic sense of belonging or be seen for who we really are without the imposition of others’ projections. As congregations, it is important that we all find community—and community within community. It is important that we show up. It is important that we grow up!

I found community in the wake of George Floyd’s murder and the subsequent deepening of racial justice activism in the United States. I started to become a sought-after voice at my own congregation. Interestingly, I slowly and then rapidly began building the UU resume that previously eluded me, and perhaps even alienated me.

For the nearly five years since that celebratory RE meeting, I have enjoyed my time “below deck” on the lower level of our church building, teaching the seventh grade Crossing Paths curriculum. Now I am being included in front-facing activities such as serving on a ministerial search committee, being a worship associate, facilitating a meeting on antiracism and our faith, serving on the social justice task force, joining the RE committee, and voting at General Assembly. In fact, I have also been encouraged to attend seminary!

I am aware I am one of the precious handful of people of color in my congregation. However, I am confident the church leadership has asked me to share in these congregational responsibilities not to shower confetti on me, but for my skills. Our two ministers, the DRE, and the senior staff team are living up to covenant by acting in partnership and solidarity. I am bound by the same covenant and am also growing, learning, and accepting my community, and most of all, my journey. My faith is showing up for me, and I am showing up for my faith.

In Mistakes and Miracles, Nancy Palmer Jones and Karin Lin refer to congregations as “living, breathing human organisms … messy, constantly in flux, and prone to make mistakes … that can be sources of inspiration, comfort, action, and joy.” In my experience, it is our congregations that need to be reminded to build compassionate, multicultural, multigenerational, inclusive, loving communities.

A plethora of social justice committees across our congregations are calling for antioppressive, antiracist, justice, and equity work. Yet in celebrating and exoticizing fellow congregants, we are dehumanizing them, othering them, alienating them, and violating the First Principle.

As a Unitarian Universalist, my individual beliefs and traditions are acknowledged and accepted by my congregation. Moreover, as a Hindu UU, I respect the personal search for spiritual truth, the belief that all things are connected, and the importance of other religious paths. My goal then is to support all of us—both our individual congregations and our faith tradition as a whole—in acknowledging and accepting each other’s authentic wholeness. May we each live into our fullest selves and find the genuine acceptance that reflects the very best of what Unitarian Universalism is and aspires to.

Excerpted with permission from Seeds of a New Way: Nurturing Authentic and Diverse Religious Leadership, edited by Manish Mishra-Marzetti and Nancy McDonald Ladd (Skinner House, 2024).